Let's break down why wearing beautiful lingerie is not only for your partner, but also for yourself.
It's no secret that lingerie is sexually attractive, which means it affects your sex life and sometimes evokes more emotions than a naked body. Studies have shown that male rats find female rats wearing mini jackets more attractive than normal rats - in this unconventional way, leading neuroscientists are drawing parallels to human arousal associated with underwear.
"Historically, sexy lingerie is only meant for a partner," explained psychologist Danielle Forshee. - But we live in a time when women are empowered. And we can wear that gorgeous lingerie whenever we want because we want to feel as gorgeous on that day and in that moment."
Of course, not all of us are fans of fancy lingerie. But anecdotal evidence suggests that by wearing chic sets for everyday life, even when not being sexually active, many people improve their mental health.
Today, there are many options to splurge on expensive lingerie that uses high quality materials. And, by the way, beautiful sets do not have to be very lacy or overtly sexy, so that the owner feels strong and confident.
But still, why does beautiful lingerie boost a woman's morale? Daniel Forshey and other experts named several possible reasons.
Reason 1. Beautiful lingerie boosts self-confidence
"Quality lingerie boosts our confidence and self-esteem, even if no one sees it," said Carolyn Meyer, behavioral psychologist, author of Fashion Psychology and founder of psychology.fashion. - Feeling confident can make us more attractive physically because we start to stand, walk, talk and gesture differently."
She noted that confidence can also make our words more persuasive and emphasize our sexuality, "which, depending on our goals, boosts self-esteem and improves mental well-being." And beautiful kits also increase feelings of femininity, sexual liberation, and inner strength.
"The idea of wearing beautiful sexy lingerie can have a really positive impact on our emotional well-being," said consumer behavior psychologist and Style Psychology founder Kate Nightingale.
She pointed to the concept of "closed-loop cognition," which suggests that the traits and feelings associated with certain clothing affect not only how others perceive us, but also how we perceive ourselves. From this, our behavior changes as well.
"If you associate confidence, strength, attractiveness or anything else with a particular underwear - you'll start to live out those feelings when you put it on," Nightingale explained. - Of course, it's not a magic pill, but you'll definitely feel a little more confident or sexy."
Reason 2. Underwear allows you to express your individuality
"We choose clothing to protect ourselves from the weather, to make our activities safer or to make a statement about ourselves. Clothes are our second skin and the outward expression of our individuality," Meyer explained. - Our social individuality is directed toward the outside world, while our personal individuality is about how we relate to ourselves."
She noted that there are not many empirical studies on the psychology of underwear, but did point to one from 2006. "Researchers found that women view lingerie as a powerful, affirming, and triggering shift in identity from boring to bold. A tool that helps them express the true personality they may not have shown outwardly," Meyer noted.
In this sense, lingerie provides an opportunity to express inner desires and instincts without worrying about judgment or interference from others.
"Typically, our clothing is tied to cultural and social norms, which means we don't always have the freedom to express our particular tastes through everyday style," noted Shakayla Forbes-Bell, fashion psychologist and founder of Fashion Is Psychology. - Lingerie sets, on the other hand, don't have to conform to these norms because they are only for our eyes or our partners' eyes. This freedom can be therapeutic for the wearer because it allows them to wear sets in styles that are a true reflection of their creativity and personal tastes."
Reason 3. Lingerie can be a form of self-care
"A woman who buys beautiful lingerie is expressing self-care in this way, which boosts morale," explained licensed marriage and family therapist Saniya Mayo.
This may seem ironic, considering that pretty lingerie isn't the most comfortable option. But the customer may simply like the way she looks in it. She may feel morally better about herself when she's wearing it.
"I think there's a certain level of self-care and self-love that comes out in buying beautiful lingerie, especially when no one else can see it. It turns out they're doing it solely for themselves," noted licensed marriage and family therapist Rachel Thomasian. - Anything we do to feel cared for or loved can be called self-care. Whether your new underwear is sexy or just incredibly comfortable and different from your regular underwear, you're giving yourself a little love with this purchase.
Making a conscious effort to feel good and look good, whether it's underwear, eye shadow, or socks, is some way to pamper yourself.
"It takes time and effort to buy and wear a nicer set of underwear, so either way it boosts your self-esteem," Forshey emphasized. - You're showing yourself that you're worth the time and effort."
However, it's important to note that beautiful lingerie isn't important for everyone and you don't need to get carried away with buying expensive sets that are beyond your budget.
"Other basic needs - hunger, comfort and health - need to be met first," Meyer said. - Also, if a person is experiencing psychological problems, it will take more than just a nice set to improve their condition."
"Buying quality underwear can trigger a reward system in the brain, but those good feelings are usually short-lived and make us feel the need to buy more and more," noted Kati Morton, licensed marriage and family therapist and host of the "Ask Kati Anything" podcast.
Many studies emphasize specifically on the shopping experience rather than the product itself. "It's the experience that contributes to longer-term positive effects," the expert said. - When we invest in a trip or event, our reward center works longer: we can remember the experience and get good emotions again and again."
Morton also emphasized that self-care also includes things that don't require any investment, such as drinking enough water, spending time with loved ones, and asserting personal boundaries.
Reason 4. Lingerie allows you to go beyond
Sometimes it's nice to play with our style, experiment with new looks we've never considered, or even mimic a completely different person. This approach applies to lingerie as well.
"Unusual clothing that doesn't fit our norms can give us a sense of escapism. Therefore, beautiful sexy lingerie for those who are used to the base will be a dual form of self-care that allows you to fall out of your daily routine," Forbes-Bell noted.
"Since no one sees lingerie without our consent, we can feel limitless to present ourselves as we want to be," added fashion psychologist Marlene Beavers. - We act as the protagonist of our own game - and there's no one here to break our spell!".
Reason 5. You feel a sense of control
Quality lingerie can also give you a sense of power and control.
"I haven't seen any research on this, but I suspect that the good feeling we get from beautiful lingerie is that it answers a question of the format 'What if...?" - suggested the Mayor. - What if I get in a car accident? What if I meet the perfect stranger? Preparedness for the unknown takes matters into its own hands. Everyone knows that lack of control is one of the biggest stressors."
Forshey supported her colleague's point of view, noting that many women choose to wear nicer lingerie for social events so they look the way they want in case of sexual contact.
"When they're going to a party or a date, there's a sense that they want to be prepared just in case," the expert said.
According to Donn Karen, founder of the Fashion Psychology Institute and professor at the Fashion Institute of Technology, it's also about regaining control amid the uncertainty of a pandemic and the need to wear a mask to promote health and safety.
"If you feel pressured by being told what to wear when you go out, remember: you can always feel free and in control under your clothes - because underwear is just for you," the expert explained.
Reason 6. It replaces external verification with internal verification
Having a good sense of what you're wearing, even if it's not visible, allows you to internally feel acceptance rather than seeking it from others.
Karen noted that before the pandemic, people were used to receiving compliments or comments about their clothing from others. The pandemic pretty much negated those moments.
"Before the coronavirus, people would dress up when they went out and get external validation in the form of phrases like "You look great!" or "What nice shoes!" But now there's none of that, so we have to look for validation on the inside."
As we slowly return to "pre-pandemic" norms - dressing up for social gatherings, for example - we can still look to ourselves for that very validation. And when it comes to clothing - it doesn't necessarily have to be on display.
"I bought underwear as part of my self-care during the pandemic when we didn't have a lot of contact with others, and I recommended it to my clients," Karen told me. - People can spend day after day in the same pajamas, but they change their underwear. I believe that women can wear underwear for themselves, not for someone else."
Reason 7. You may want to dress beautifully on the outside as well
Beautiful or high quality lingerie also inspires some women to put in the effort and put together a beautiful look, which further boosts confidence.
"Dressing up can even improve your mood," Karen said. - "I call it the 'mood enhancing dressing theory.' You can really lift your mood when you're feeling anxious or depressed just by dressing up. And nice lingerie can encourage you to wear something prettier than an oversize sweater to improve your mood even more.
The expert believes that many people would benefit from paying more attention to their appearance when social life returns to normal.
"Since many of us have been working from home straight out of our pajamas for a year, I think there's a good chance we're going back to the Great Gatsby era, when people dressed up for every little occasion," Karen joked. - Mood really does matter, so I tell people to check in with themselves, identify how they're feeling and dress to show or reinforce their emotions.
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